The Last Ride

"The Last Ride" is the 15th episode of Season Four in the Brooklyn Nine-Nine television series. It premiered on April 25, 2017 to 1.88 million viewers. Viewers give it 8.2 out of 10.

Episode Synopsis

In what could be their last case as partners, Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle go to great extremes to apprehend a local bike thief. Terry Jeffords shockingly isn't in the lead for "Mr. Nine-Nine" (the detective who has solved the most cases), leaving Rosa Diaz determined to boost his ego. Meanwhile, Amy Santiago spends some precious time with Raymond Holt.

Cold Open
Plot
Cultural References
Quotes
Transcript

Cold Open 04 15 — **Holt Announces the Precinct Is Closing Cold Open**

With crime down in Brooklyn the NYPD is closing one precinct and after the auditor in the previous episode revealed she sent in a bad report, the squad is nervous. Captain Holt opens the morning briefing by revealing that the precinct will be shut down. Jake and Amy argue this claim by stating that the hearing isn’t until 10 p.m. Jake rallies with a convincing speech and asks Holt for a big case that’ll save the precinct. Holt offers up a case of a 10 year-old’s bike being stolen.

Jake invites Charles into the break room where he finds him sitting on a bean bag with another one for Charles. Confused, Charles asks why they are sitting in happy seats and Jake explains that he’s got a new attitude about their case. If it’s going to be the last one they work together they’re going to do it right. He got the coolest car in the impound lot for them to use and matching leather jackets for them to wear.

Due to them possibly being closed, the precinct is no longer receiving new cases, which frustrates Terry as he has only two cases away from beating Hitchcock for the most solves within the precinct. Gina’s unaffected since her online side hustle, GHive, is doing well and she recently created a portal named Ginazon, as a homebase for her followers. Since work is boring she plans to prank her coworkers.

Jake and Charles are out in the city looking for their suspect in their cool car, matching leather jackets and sunglasses. They quickly come across the a man with the bike they’re looking for and pull over to bust him. Jake does a hood slide while Charles apprehends him, but Charles is overwhelmed with emotion and unable to deliver the line they had rehearsed. To cheer him up Jake mentions numerous ways the case could still go on when he discovers a large back containing heroin in the backpack of their suspect.

Amy asks Gina if she can go into Holt’s office and she lets her know he’s on the phone. While waiting Gina offers Amy an extra coffee that the coffee shop accidentally made. Amy takes it and drinks it to spit it out in disgust. Gina is filming and reveals it is cement and that Holt isn’t on the phone. Amy enters Holt’s office to find him on the phone while Gina yells Triple prank! from her desk.

Amy thanks Holt for being her mentor even though he might not have considered himself one and Holt reveals that he’s been mentoring her all along and has a 9 year plan mapped out for her. He shows her the binder then goes to throw it away when Amy devises the plan that he can teach her everything in the 6 hours they have until the hearing.

Hitchcock and Scully show off a new tattoo Hitchcock got, claiming that he is Mr. Nine-Nine. The tattoo is of Hitchcock with the barrel of a gun in his mouth, which he interprets to be him blowing smoke off the barrel. Rosa brings Terry a case of someone who had his phone stolen at a bar.

Jake interrogated the perpetrator they found and he revealed that he works for someone named Dom who moves his drugs using BMX riders. Having ridden BMX when he was younger, Jake devises a plan to get hired onto Dom’s crew and take him down from the inside. He proceeds to practice for his cover and is rusty on his skills.

Rosa and Terry return from investigating the bar the guy was at when his cell phone was stolen to find their victim handcuffed to Terry’s desk. While they were out he was in the bathroom bragging on the phone about how he was filing a report to get a new phone and Hitchcock and Scully overheard him while using the bathrooms.

Holt is firing off mentoring guidelines while Amy types them down with a stenotype machine. Gina sets a prank up for Terry involving yogurt but he notices her filming.

Jake, undercover as Tyler Omaha, convinces Dom to give him a chance to join his crew and Dom offers up a race against his worst guy to call Jake’s bluff. They race around the city and Bodie is faster than Jake until Charles, undercover as the roller skater Chip Rockets, gets in the way of Bodie causing him to crash. Jake fails to jump over a ramp while Bodie flies gracefully over it on his bike. Defeated, Jake whines about his bruised hip until Charles tells him he put a gps tracker on Bodie’s bike.

Holt finishes giving Amy the information he had planned for her and they both become sad when they realize it’s over. Gina offers Amy a container of miso soup to help with her feelings and Amy declines. Scully asks to eat it and Gina tells him that her followers are sick of watching him eat cement.

Jake and Charles track the gps tracker to a warehouse where they have a tactical team set up and waiting to bust them so that they can save the precinct. While spying on them with tactical equipment they discover they have bags of cash and not drugs like they had hoped. Realizing this could lead to discovering their supplier Jake makes the call to wait to catch their suppliers.

Holt announces that Jake made the decision to wait and catch the bigger fish to the squad who was eagerly waiting for them to perform an act of heroism to save the precinct. He gives a speech about their duty to the city and not themselves while Gina is recording.

At Shaw’s Bar Jake and Charles meet up with the rest of the squad and Holt reveals that the precinct won’t be shut down thanks to a last minute swell of online support from the community. Gina pops up from behind the bar and announces that it was her followers who sent in the support after they were moved by Captain Holt’s speech.

Everyone takes a celebratory drink from a beer which they all, except Scully, spit out and Gina yells “Y’all just drank CEMENT!”

Charles thinks the car, Herbie, from Herbie: Fully Loaded was in the impound lot
Jake mentions the toothpick quirk of Stallone's character in Cobra (1986).
The car that is in the impound lot is a Ford Mustang
Rosa gives Michelle Kwan as an example of a second place winner
Terry compares New York in the 80s the movie The Purge
The dealer uses BMX riders to move his product
The drug dealers made fun of Tyler Omaha by comparing him to Rachel Maddow
Charles says that Jake's new partner will know everything about Die Hard

Product Placement Apple

Amy Santiago
I know you may not see yourself as my mentor, but…
Raymond Holt
Of course I do. I’ve been mentoring you all this time.
Amy Santiago
What?
[Takes out a huge binder]
Raymond Holt
This is day 1,282 of a nine-year mentorship I had mapped out for you. Under ordinary circumstances I wouldn’t reveal this to you until day 3,300.
Amy Santiago
It was real. There was a binder.

This page contains the transcript from the Season 4 Episode Number 15, The Last Ride episode in the Brooklyn Nine-Nine television series.

Raymond Holt
Attention, squad. Here's where we stand vis-à-vis whether or not the precinct will be shut down. The precinct will be shut down.
Jake Peralta
But I thought the official hearing wasn't until tonight. Amy's friend at HQ heard that maybe the 74 was getting shut down instead.
Gina Linetti
There's no way that's true. Amy doesn't have a friend.
Amy Santiago
I do so! Although, I only see her at work events, and we only talk through email. Oh, god, she's just a colleague.
Raymond Holt
Santiago's work acquaintance is correct.
Tonight at 7:00 the committee is choosing between us and the 74, although the 74 has a significant advantage.
They house an elite gang task force.
Jake Peralta
Well, this is on you, sir. I begged you for a task force, but no, you wouldn't give me funding for Strike Team Thunder Kill Alpha Colon Hard Target.
Raymond Holt
You never told me what it was for.
Jake Peralta
It's a strike team that... Kills thunder and puts its colon on hard targets.
Terry Jeffords
They're gonna split us up and send us all to different precincts. This is the last time I'm gonna stand up here and look at you guys. Hitchcock, close your damn legs!
Jake Peralta
No! This isn't over yet. Sure, maybe we don't have Strike Team Thunder Kill Alpha Colon Hard Target, but we're the 9-9. We have Rosa and Charles, Gina, Amy and Terry, and Carl!
Mark
It's mark.
Jake Peralta
Sorry. I was just trying to include someone from outside the inner circle.
Mark
There's an inner circle?
Jake Peralta
The point is we're not rolling over. We're gonna solve a huge case before the hearing tonight, and then the NYPD cannot shut us down. So come on, captain, give me something big and juicy. What do you got?
Raymond Holt
A ten year old had his bike stolen.
Jake Peralta
We are S'd in the B.
[Title Sequence]
Jake Peralta
Hi-dee-ho there, Charlie old boy. Come have a seat.
Charles Boyle
Beanbags? But these are happy seats. Why are you happy? Oh, my god, you figured out how to save the precinct. You got a juicy case. You juiced this mama!
Jake Peralta
Nope, same un-juicy case. New juicer attitude. The way I see it, if this is to be our last ride then let us go out in a blaze of glory.
Charles Boyle
Ooh.
Jake Peralta
Charles, think about anything you ever wanted to do on a case. We're doing it today.
Charles Boyle
Oh, hence the beanbags.
Jake Peralta
Hence is right, and also hence we're gonna drive around in the coolest undercover car in the impound lot.
Charles Boyle
Herbie from Herbie Fully Loaded.
Jake Peralta
What? No. You really think Herbie fully loaded was on the impound lot?
Charles Boyle
Without a doubt.
Jake Peralta
Well, anyway, it's a mustang. It's got a stripe down the middle.
Charles Boyle
Like Herbie.
Jake Peralta
Okay.
Charles Boyle
One question, can we wear matching leather jackets?
Jake Peralta
Oh, man, I don't know if we're gonna have time to pull something like that together! What?
Charles Boyle
Blaze of glory!
Jake Peralta
Blaze of glory.
Terry Jeffords
You're not giving us any new cases? There's nothing to work on. Damn it! So this is how it ends.
Gina Linetti
Well, every ending is a new beginning. Another great Gina Linetti entrance. You better savor these while you still can, Sarge.
Terry Jeffords
Gina, I am not in the mood. How are you so unaffected by all this?
Gina Linetti
Because I have already moved on. I'm devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon. It's a one stop online portal for my legions of followers. Speaking of whom, what's up Ghive? It's queen gee. I'm bored at work, so I'm gonna prank all my coworkers.
Terry Jeffords
That sounds like a bad idea for an already crappy day.
Gina Linetti
Fine, Sarge. I won't do it. I will do it, so you can count this as my first prank I guess, unofficially.
Terry Jeffords
Hey, Diaz, HQ isn't giving us any new cases because we might shut down. You have anything?
Rosa Diaz
No, sorry, I got nothing.
Terry Jeffords
Oh, man! I am one arrest away from the all time precinct record. Two more solves woulda put me over the top.
Rosa Diaz
So? Nothing wrong with second place.
Terry Jeffords
Name one silver medalist.
Rosa Diaz
Michelle Kwan.
Terry Jeffords
She fell, Rosa. She fell so much!
Rosa Diaz
Oh, yeah.
Terry Jeffords
Besides, it's not about me wanting the record. It's about who currently has it. Hitchcock.
Rosa Diaz and Michael Hitchcock
Hitchcock?!
Rosa Diaz
How is that possible?
Terry Jeffords
He's been here 20 years longer than me, and New York City in the '80s was basically The Purge.
Michael Hitchcock
I always knew I was the best cop in the 9-9, and now there's proof. Oh, man! My psghetti!
Rosa Diaz
We're getting you that record.
Amy Santiago
Hey, can I talk to the captain?
Gina Linetti
Ugh, he's on the phone. Do you want a coffee while you wait? They made me an extra one on accident.
Amy Santiago
Oh, sure. Thank you. Oh, my god! What is that?
Gina Linetti
Cement! You just drank cement! Guys, check back in to see if she dies.
Amy Santiago
Ugh!
Gina Linetti
You're not really gonna die probably, okay? Just a little honey for the Ghive. Also you can talk to Holt. He is not on the phone.
Amy Santiago
What is happening?
Gina Linetti
It's a little something I call two pranks for the price of one!
Raymond Holt
Santiago, I'm on the phone.
Gina Linetti
Triple prank!
Amy Santiago
I'm so sorry, sir. I can come back later.
Raymond Holt
No, it's too late. The call is ruined. Goodbye, dear. What do you want?
Amy Santiago
Well, since there's a good chance that things are coming to an end, I just wanted to say thank you for everything that you've taught me. I know you may not see yourself as my mentor, but...
Raymond Holt
Of course I do. I've been mentoring you all this time.
Amy Santiago
What?
Raymond Holt
This is day 1,282 of a nine year mentorship I had mapped out for you. Under ordinary circumstances I wouldn't reveal this to you until day 3,300.
Amy Santiago
It was real. There was a binder.
Raymond Holt
Not anymore.
Amy Santiago
No! You can still mentor me if we don't work together. We could meet for breakfast every day. You could teach me over eggs.
Raymond Holt
Eggs for breakfast? You're further behind than I thought.
Amy Santiago
Ah! No, look, okay. There are ten hours left, sir. If you talk fast enough, you can teach me everything.
Raymond Holt
Interesting. Okay. You'll have to take notes. Do you think you can keep up?
Amy Santiago
Let's just say I was president of the stenographer's club in high school for a reason.
Raymond Holt
Was the reason because you were the only member?
Amy Santiago
Yes.
Charles Boyle
This is so cool! I feel like we're in a cologne ad.
Jake Peralta
Oh, yeah, check this out. Whoop!
Charles Boyle
Yeah! Cleaning your teeth in public like you just don't give a what.
Jake Peralta
No, it's like a cool toothpick like Stallone in Cobra.
Charles Boyle
Eh, lateral move. Hey, I know this is just a stolen bike case, but you know what we should do?
Jake Peralta
Stand back to back with our guns drawn while we're surrounded by bad guys. You know what I call that. The man sprinkler.
Charles Boyle
Bullet tornado.
Jake Peralta
Yep, bullet tornado.
Charles Boyle
What was yours? I didn't hear it.
Jake Peralta
Same as you, bullet tornado. The important thing is we don't have to talk about it anymore cause we both said the same excellent name.
Charles Boyle
Ah.
Jake Peralta
Wait a minute, Boyle. Is this our bike?
Charles Boyle
Green grips, orange pegs. I think it is.
Charles Boyle
NYPD! Hands on your head!
Jake Peralta
Hood slide. Congratulations, punk. Charles, tell him what he won. You're supposed to tell him he's won an all expenses paid, luxury trip to hell. We rehearsed this.
Charles Boyle
I'm sorry, I know. It just hit me that it's over. I wanted the case to last longer.
Jake Peralta
Come on, it's not necessarily over. I mean, this guy could still make a break for it or take me hostage or... Have a huge bag of heroin.
Charles Boyle
Oh, my god, it's not over yet. This just became a giant drug case. We can save the 9-9.
Jake Peralta
We can save the 9-9! This man is our savior.
Charles Boyle
And he looks like Jesus.
Jake Peralta
Yeah, he looks like a hunky Jesus.
Charles Boyle
Yeah!
Jake Peralta
Thanks for the heroin, hunky Jesus.
Charles Boyle
How'd the interrogation go?
Jake Peralta
Awesome. I got to do something that I always wanted to do. You make me sick. Heeya! He was actually really helpful. I feel bad. Anyways, turns out he works for a dealer named Dom, who supplies half the heroin in the city. If we take him down, there's no way they close the 9-9.
Charles Boyle
But the hearing's in six hours. How do we get to Dom?
Jake Peralta
Apparently he uses BMX riders to move his product, and as it turns out when I was a kid I was a vert fiend.
Charles Boyle
That's great news. Please explain that.
Jake Peralta
That means I rode BMX.
Charles Boyle
Ah.
Jake Peralta
So we get our perp to text this Dom guy, tell him to hire me to move his product. Then I show up, grind a bunch of gnarly rails. I'm talking real fluffy ones.
Charles Boyle
Radical. I bet you're an awesome fluffer.
Jake Peralta
No.
Charles Boyle
I bet you fluffed those other riders right out of their biker shorts.
Jake Peralta
Charles...
Charles Boyle
I can picture you as a teenager fluffing all of New York City.
Jake Peralta
Charles, stop talking. Fluffing has a different meaning. So I get the job, we take down Dom, precinct's saved, then I do an ice pick 360 on the podium at the press conference.
Charles Boyle
Awesome. One question. Do you still know how to ride?
Jake Peralta
Come on, riding a bike, it's like riding a bike. Wheelie. No. Wheelie. No. Boyle, it's cause you're watching.
Charles Boyle
Okay.
Jake Peralta
One more try. One more try. One more try. One more try. One more try.
Charles Boyle
Did you do it?
Norm Scully
Hey, sarge, check it out. Hitchcock got a tattoo.
Michael Hitchcock
Mr.Nine-Nine.
Terry Jeffords
Why are you putting a gun in your mouth? I'm blowing smoke off the barrel. It's cool.
Terry Jeffords
The barrel is fully inside your mouth. You're clearly about to kill yourself.
Norm Scully
You're just jealous cause he's got the arrest record and you don't.
Michael Hitchcock
Yeah, suck on this. Click, pow!
Terry Jeffords
You pulled the trigger, man! That was a suicide!
Rosa Diaz
Sarge, I got a case for you. Guy had his phone stolen at a bar last night.
Terry Jeffords
All right!
Greg
It's not that big a deal. I just need to file a police report for my insurance company.
Terry Jeffords
No, it is a major injustice, and we're gonna set it right.
Greg
It was a crappy old phone. I'd rather just get a new one.
Terry Jeffords
We're the police and we're here to help you. So shut your damn mouth! Now tell us what he looked like.
Greg
I only saw his back. Uh, he had a blue hoodie on.
Terry Jeffords
Whoo! We got a lead!
Gina Linetti
You just drank cement. You just drank cement.
Jake Peralta
Dom just texted. The meetup spot is ten minutes away. This is so awesome. When I was a kid, I said I wanted to be a BMX detective, and they laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now, Kenny Yarbrough? Kenny actually opened up a chain of salad places. He's doing quite well for himself.
Charles Boyle
Oh.
Jake Peralta
Yeah.
Charles Boyle
Hey, what if they can tell you're amazing but a little rusty and therefore kinda bad?
Jake Peralta
Not to worry, BMX is 99% attitude. So here's the plan, my name is Tyler Omaha, born and raised in SoCal. Point me to a quarter pipe and I'm gonna tailwhip for days, bro.
Charles Boyle
And I'm your rollerskating sidekick, chip rockets.
Jake Peralta
Welcome aboard, chip rockets.
Charles Boyle
Thank you.
Jake Peralta
And you're married to the roller skates?
Charles Boyle
A hundred percent.
Jake Peralta
Roller skates it is.
Charles Boyle
Right.
Jake Peralta
Just cause you're only gonna be in the car.
Charles Boyle
A hundred percent, Jake.
Jake Peralta
Chip rockets!
Charles Boyle
Chip rockets.
Dom
Sorry, dude, we don't need any new riders.
Jake Peralta
You know, I used to be pro, but they said my antics were too gnar. Kicked me off the circuit.
Dom
For what?
Jake Peralta
You know, peeing on the track, having sex during races, being hella gnar. You get it, we all have gyros on our bikes. The point is I can cut your delivery times in half.
Dom
Seriously, in half? I think you're full of it. I don't think you could even beat Bodie, and he's my worst guy.
Jake Peralta
Your worst guy? Come on, I could take any of these posers.
Jake Peralta
Fine, then race Derek. Nah, I don't wanna trouble Derek. Let's just stick with Bodie. First thought, best thought, right? Let's do this.
Raymond Holt
It should take 70 seconds for you to fully Gauge someone's character. Here's what to look for: Grammar, posture, scent, attire, level of perspiration, type of shirt collar.
Amy Santiago
What's the best type of shirt collar?
Raymond Holt
English spread, obviously, but let's hold the questions until the end. When people say, "good morning," they mean, "hello." When people say, "how are you?" They mean, "hello." When people say, "what's up?" They mean, "I am a person not worth talking to." There are two acceptable sleep positions: On back, toes up, arms crossed, or on back, toes up, arms at the side. Do not trust any child that chews bubble gum flavored bubble gum. Do not trust any adult that chews gum at all. Never vacation in Banff.
Dom
Okay, you guys know the course. First one to get to Creston and 10th rides for me. Loser is out.
Jake Peralta
Hey, Bodie, you seem like a reasonable dude. Just let me win and I'll owe you big time. I really need this.
Bodie
I really need this, too. I haven't eaten in three days, and my bookie says if I don't pay him back he's gonna k*ll my dog.
Jake Peralta
Mmmkay that's very intense.
Bodie
Please let me win. Since my mom died, that dog is my only family.
Jake Peralta
I am so sorry. I shouldn't have engaged. It got way too real.
Bodie
I'm gonna lose everything!
Jake Peralta
Yep, putting on my helmet now.
Dom
Ready, go!
Jake Peralta
Whoa! He's so fast! Too fast. I'm losing. Whoa! Chip rockets! Sorry about your dog, Bodie. Oh, man, why'd I say that? Now I feel terrible. I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win. Wait, ramp, ramp, ramp, ramp! Ahhh! No! Oh, I see what I did wrong. I did the jump bad.
Charles Boyle
You okay, Jake?
Jake Peralta
Well, aside from the fact that the 99's hearing is in four hours and we're definitely getting shut down, no, I bruised my thigh.
Charles Boyle
It's gonna be just fine, Jake.
Jake Peralta
No, it isn't, Charles. It's on my right hip. I sleep on that side. It was stupid of me to think I could make this the best case ever. Let's just go back to the precinct so you can make me hot cocoa.
Charles Boyle
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but no, I will not make you hot cocoa.
Jake Peralta
Charles! I have a bruise!
Charles Boyle
I won't do it, not when there's still a chance we can save the nine nine.
Jake Peralta
What are you talking about?
Charles Boyle
When I took down that guy Bodie...
Jake Peralta
Chip rockets!
Charles Boyle
I planted a bug with a GPS tracker on it.
Jake Peralta
Chip rockets, you beautiful bastard.
Charles Boyle
Chip actually is a bastard. Never knew either of his parents. Raised by the rink.
Jake Peralta
Ooh, bad ass backstory.
Charles Boyle
Stole it from a TV movie. It was about ice dancing, but I adapted it for the hardwood.
Jake Peralta
That makes it way worse, but I'm gonna move past it. Let's track down Bodie and save the precinct.
Terry Jeffords
Okay, we're making progress on your phone. We went to the bar where it was taken... Wait, why are you in handcuffs?
Greg
Because I've been arrested.
Terry Jeffords
What? By who?
Michael Hitchcock
Hitchcock, baby. I busted his butt for filing a false police report.
Norm Scully
He broke his phone, but insurance wouldn't reimburse him unless he reported it as stolen.
Rosa Diaz
Are you serious? How the hell did you solve this, Hitchcock?
Michael Hitchcock
Good old fashioned detective work.
Greg
Yeah, they have no idea. They think the phone was actually stolen.
Michael Hitchcock
You're under arrest, jerko.
Norm Scully
Don't even think about it.
Michael Hitchcock
He thought the bathroom was empty because we use the toilet with our feet up on the stall door.
Rosa Diaz
Explain any further and I will kneecap you both.
Michael Hitchcock
You can't boss me around. I'm the greatest detective in the history of here. Mr. Nine Nine, out.
Charles Boyle
Okay, according to the tracker, Bodie's at a warehouse on 11th street. ESU is on site and waiting for our go.
Jake Peralta
Great, time to gear up. It's not the best case ever without some toys.
Charles Boyle
Oh, yeah. Toys for boys.
Jake Peralta
I don't know if I like that.
Charles Boyle
Adult toys.
Jake Peralta
Still sounds wrong.
Charles Boyle
Male toys.
Jake Peralta
You know what? Let's just not call them toys. That's my fault, I started it.
Charles Boyle
You got it, we'll just call them playthings.
Jake Peralta
We will not. Let's do this. sniper binoculars. Here, Charles, tell me how far away I am.
Charles Boyle
Too close to measure.
Jake Peralta
They really work! That's everything. Let's do this.
Charles Boyle
This is way too much stuff.
Jake Peralta
Yeah. And it's too heavy to carry all the way back.
Jake Peralta & Charles Boyle
Terry!
Raymond Holt
Five minutes left. What have I missed? Professional handshake.
Amy Santiago
We did that. Fingers with a half centimeter spread, up, down, then separate.
Raymond Holt
Good. Acceptable fabrics?
Amy Santiago
Cotton or cotton blend. Wool is for outerwear only, and silk is for sex workers or musicians.
Raymond Holt
Right. Good desserts?
Amy Santiago
There are none. If you are hungry, you should have had more dinner.
Raymond Holt
That's it! We're done. You've been mentored.
Amy Santiago
Oh, my god! We did it! I can't believe we did it! Oh, no, we did it. It's over.
Raymond Holt
Yes, I agree. Up, down, separation.
Amy Santiago
Separation.
Gina Linetti
Oh, girl, you look so sad. You know what would cheer you up? A nice bowl of miso soup.
Amy Santiago
No thanks, Gina. I'm not in the mood.
Norm Scully
So, Gina, is that soup up for grabs?
Gina Linetti
Scully, no. My followers are sick of watching you eat cement.
Jake Peralta
There they are. We are 1524 kilometers away. I have no idea what that means, but it's still pretty cool. Charles, can you hear what they're saying?
Charles Boyle
Uh, no.
Jake Peralta
Really? It looks like they're talking.
Charles Boyle
They're not. They're definitely not talking.
Jake Peralta
I can see their lips moving. Wait a minute, why won't you tell me what they're saying?
Charles Boyle
They're making fun of Tyler Omaha.
Jake Peralta
Oh, what? I thought I was pretty good.
Charles Boyle
Me too! And you definitely don't look anything like Rachel Maddow.
Jake Peralta
Oh, come on!
Charles Boyle
Hold on. Something's happening. That's a huge bag. If that's full of heroin, we could really save the precinct.
Jake Peralta
Oh, I can just hear Holt now. I'm proud of you, Peralta. You are my hero. The guy is obsessed with me.
Charles Boyle
All right, we gotta make the bust now. We only have 30 minutes left till the hearing.
Jake Peralta
No, no, no, no, wait, stand down. It's not heroin in the bags. It's money.
Charles Boyle
Yeah, that's millions in drug money. We can still arrest them for that. Let's do it.
Jake Peralta
No. If they have that much money on them, it means they're probably gonna meet up with their supplier. Can you hear what they're saying?
Charles Boyle
Yeah, I'm trying to make it out. Sounds like... Oh, you're right. They're getting a shipment at 8:30.
Jake Peralta
Whoa, Dom's one of the biggest dealers in New York. Whoever their supplier is is gonna be huge. We gotta wait.
Charles Boyle
But that's two hours from now. We'll miss the hearing. Let's just arrest Dom.
Jake Peralta
We'd be getting a major player off the streets. I mean, isn't that the job?
Charles Boyle
So what are you saying?
Jake Peralta
I'm saying the nine nine's gonna get shut down.
Charles Boyle
Damn it!
Jake Peralta
I know, it sucks, but it's the right thing to do.
Charles Boyle
No, not that, they're making fun of chip rockets now.
Jake Peralta
These drug dealers are so mean.
Charles Boyle
Right!
Jake Peralta
But it's a big bust, and at least we're going out in a Blaze of glory.
Charles Boyle
Yeah. It feels more like a Blaze of crap.
Charles Boyle
Ah, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna get a new partner. His name's gonna be Heath or Ryan. He's gonna know everything about "die hard," and he's gonna be super cool. Jean jacket cool.
Jake Peralta
Yeah, yeah, you could be right. And hey, you'll get a cool, new partner too, right?
Charles Boyle
Eh.
Jake Peralta
He'll love fine dining and musical theater and hearing about every explicit detail of your sex life over and over and over.
Charles Boyle
Just like you.
Jake Peralta
Yeah, yeah, just like me.
Charles Boyle
Yes, you're right. It's gonna be fine. I'm gonna be totally fine without you. I'm gonna check the distance on the warehouse there.
Jake Peralta
Copy.
Charles Boyle
Yep, the building hasn't moved. It's still .1524 kilometers... Away.
Jake Peralta
Wait, are you just holding up the binoculars so I can't see you cry?
Charles Boyle
No!
Jake Peralta
Yeah, I didn't think so. Come to think of it, I'm gonna double check our building distance as well.
Charles Boyle
Mmm hmm.
Terry Jeffords
I see you filming, Linetti. What's in the yogurt?
Gina Linetti
Normal stuff. Nothing you'd use to make a sidewalk with.
Raymond Holt
Attention squad, I just got word from Peralta and Boyle.
Amy Santiago
Did they make their bust? They save the precinct?
Raymond Holt
No, they decided to try to bring in a bigger fish. They're not gonna make the hearing.
Rosa Diaz
So Jake's doing the right thing instead of the selfish thing? You did this to him.
Raymond Holt
Look, I know we all want this precinct to survive, but I'm proud of them. Loyalty to your friends and fellow officers is important, but more important is our loyalty to this city and its citizens. So I guess what I'm trying to say is let's go get drunk.
Charles Boyle
See anything?
Jake Peralta
Nope.
Charles Boyle
You?
Jake Peralta
No, I just love these binoculars so much. I don't wanna put them down, you know?
Charles Boyle
Oh, man, when this case is over, I'm gonna miss these binoculars.
Jake Peralta
Me too.
Marv
It's almost 8:30. We're gonna get into position.
Jake Peralta
Okay, thanks, Marv.
Marv
Are you guys crying?
Jake Peralta
I said thanks, Marv! That means move on.
Charles Boyle
I'm sorry that our last case wasn't our best case ever.
Jake Peralta
No, don't say that. Every case with you is the best case ever.
Charles Boyle
Oh.
Jake Peralta
Now come on, we still have a drug dealer to bust, right? You know what that means.
Charles Boyle
Bullet tornado!
Jake Peralta
Man sprinkler! Bullet tornado, that's what I said both times.
Jake Peralta
Okay, Marv, go, go, go, go, go!
Tactical Team
NYPD! Down! Everybody, down!
Rosa Diaz
Hey. Congratulations on getting the record.
Terry Jeffords
What are you talking about? I came up short. Hitchcock beat me. What are all these?
Rosa Diaz
B&e I worked last year. You noticed a clue I missed. Arson I solved last summer. You gave me advice on how to break the guy in interrogation. Blackmail from '09. You said the nanny did it, and guess what, the nanny did it.
Terry Jeffords
I don't understand.
Rosa Diaz
You didn't just work your own cases. You helped me and Jake and Charles and Amy. There are hundreds of cases that wouldn't have been solved without you. You add all that up, that's a record nobody's ever gonna touch. Congratulations, Mr. Nine-Nine.
Terry Jeffords
Thanks, Diaz.
Jake Peralta
Hey, guys, sorry we couldn't, you know, save the precinct.
Amy Santiago
Nothing to be sorry about. Your moral compass is on fire right now.
Jake Peralta
Okay, forget I said anything. This is better.
Charles Boyle
At least we had an awesome bust.
Jake Peralta
Yeah, we went back to back.
Jake Peralta
Oh, man, we must look so cool.
Rosa Diaz
You finally did the man sprinkler.
Jake Peralta
What? I never called it that.
Raymond Holt
Attention, squad. I just got off the phone with One Police Plaza. The hearing is over, and here's where we stand vis-à-vis the precinct being shut down. The precinct will not be shut down.
Everyone
Oh! Yeah!
Raymond Holt
They decided to shut down the 7-4 instead.
Amy Santiago
Wait, I don't understand.
Raymond Holt
Apparently the community came to our aid. There was a swell of online support orchestrated by an organization called Gyna zone.
Gina Linetti
I think you mean Ginazon. I was behind the bar the whole time. Another great Gina Linetti entrance.
Hank
I told you, you can't be back here.
Gina Linetti
And I told you, I already am.
Jake Peralta
What did you do?
Gina Linetti
I was live streaming a prank when Captain Holt made his big speech about how you did the right thing for the city. I guess people were moved. They were like, what can we do to help? And I said, call the commissioner's office.
Jake Peralta
The Ghive is real! I can't believe you did it. Gina, you're a legend. To the nine-nine!
Everyone
Nine-nine!
Gina Linetti
Y'all just drank cement!
Raymond Holt
Santiago, the precinct's been saved. Why are you so glum?
Amy Santiago
Because our mentorship is over. I blew it all in one day.
Raymond Holt
Yes, volume one of our mentorship.
Amy Santiago
There's more volumes?
Raymond Holt
Of course. You think I could fit it all in one binder?
Amy Santiago
Okay, good.
Raymond Holt
You don't seem very excited.
Amy Santiago
Oh, I was just adhering to section 7, page 145. "No emotional displays in the workplace."
Raymond Holt
Excellent. I taught you well.
Amy Santiago
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do on the roof.

Cast

Actor		Character
Andy Samberg	...	Jake Peralta
Andy Samberg	...	Tyler Omaha
Stephanie Beatriz	...	Rosa Diaz
Terry Crews	...	Terry Jeffords
Melissa Fumero	...	Amy Santiago
Joe Lo Truglio	...	Charles Boyle
Joe Lo Truglio	...	Chip Rockets
Andre Braugher	...	Raymond Holt
Dirk Blocker	...	Michael Hitchcock
Joel McKinnon Miller	...	Norm Scully
Drew Difonzo Marks	...	Greg
Kevin Dorff	...	Hank
Dale Pavinski	...	Dom
Anthony Soike	...	Bodie
Kenny Stevenson	...	Mark
Deren Tadlock	...	Marv

Cool Cool Cool Things

Trivia

Amy was the president & only member of the stenographer’s club in high school
Jake rode BMX as a kid and wanted to be a BMX detective.
Hitchcock and Scully use the toilet with their feet up on the stall door.
Holt had a nine-year mentorship mapped out for Santiago
Jake sleeps on his right side
Hitchcock holds the all-time precinct record
- Terry was one case below

Running Gags Mentioned

Featured Relationships

Terry's Ex Arrives to Evaluate the Precinct

Promo

The Good, the Bad, and the Glorious

Images

Episode Stills
Screen Caps

Goofs

Holt tells Amy not to "trust any adult that chews gum at all."
- In the Season 3 episode Ava, Holt is sitting at Gina's desk and says she has all his "favourite chewing gums" and chews a piece.

In some versions of the episode

At the 3 minute mark, Gina is filming herself for a prank. When the camera cuts to her on her phone she is not taking a video.

Behind The Scenes

Known Filming Locations
Filming Location	City, State	Details	Scenes
NYPD 78th Precinct	Brooklyn, New York	Building exterior	Establishing shots meant to represent the 99th Precinct
South 5th Street	Brooklyn, New York	Next to river, beneath Williamsburg Bridge	Ensemble walking down the street in the Title Sequence
CBS Studio Center	Studio City, California	Stage 12	Scenes that take place in the 99th Precinct
		Stage 10	Scenes that take place inside Shaw's Bar
		NY Street Backlot	Establishing shots meant to represent Shaw's Bar
San Julian Street	Los Angeles, California	The City Market construction site, San Julian Street	BMX Race
576 E. Olympic Blvd.	Los Angeles, California	Street and parking lot	Driving in mustang and see the bike Arresting the perp