Brooklyn Nine-Nine Wiki
Brooklyn Nine-Nine Wiki

The No No List was something that Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle came up with in an attempt to minimize their annoyance with one another in the Season Two episode Stakeout. It was written on the wall of the small room in a Condemned Hotel where they were assigned to watch a drop house for 8 days.

Just to be safe we could write down some of each other's annoying behaviors that we want to be off limits, you know? We could call it the no no list.

―Jake Peralta

  • "No talking about Derek" is on Jake's no-no list. This is a reference to the previous episode, Undercover, where Derek is mentioned as Jake's partner in a lot of activities during his time undercover in the mafia, much to Charles' disappointment.

Charles and Jake's "no-no lists" read as follows:

JAKE CHARLES (jerk)
No pullups No "Sister Act"
No Kwazy Cupcakes NO “Sister Act 2”
No "dandruff blizzard" No bird calls
No letting it mellow No multilevel marketing schemes
No life hacks No ballroom dancing
No saying "noice" No male kegels
No butter-syrup No licking fingers before turning pages
No talking about Die Hard 1 2 and 3 or 4 or 5 No jerks.
No using my toothbrush No letting birds in!
No peanut butter anything from the jar No unrequested lullabies
No spoilers No puppets
No neck cracking No rasta-man voice
No parkour No eating with your mouth open
No jerks No reciting poems
No calling legitimate business deals “schemes” No tea ceremonies
No cabbage patch No lady style towels
No saying “been done” No rhyming
No impressions No eyelash wishes
No talking about your dumb car No forts
No cheese powder fingers No locking
No peanut butter on binoculars No talking about your butt holes
No using jerky as toothbrush No saying “UNI”
No mocking my food ME!! No finger quotes
No red wedding No gasp while reading
No comparing yourself to Idris Elba—favorable or not No slurping noodles
No Running Man—movie or the dance No grief moans
No “De Niro” or “Walken” impressions No rhythmic gymnastics
No added “Z”s to the end of words No clubhouse
No complaining about “not seeing The Wire” No whale songs
NO OVER SALTING!! No dolphin songs
No peeling wallpaper No manatee songs
No action movie reenactments NO BATHS
No karate on the bed ANYWHERE No Pig Latin
No beat boxing No nose hair trimming
No talking ABOUT DEREK!! No writing on my side of the wall!
No feet on my memory pillow No yoga pants
No asking if things look infected! No yoga
No air saxophone NO SUCCULENT
No popping NO SPOONING
No syrup shots No air drying
No basketball pregnancies NO LES MIS
No using my soap No sleep laughter
NO YELLOW KING
No talking about ortolans
No saying “epic”
No saying “epic fail”
No making bugs your pets
No saying “stake-ation”
No practicing kissing
No “ooping”
No “I spy”
No sassy “nuh-uh-uhs”