"Christmas" is the eleventh episode of Season One of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine television series. It originally aired on December 3, 2013 to 3.66 million viewers. Viewers give it 8.1 out of 10 on IMDb.
Episode Synopsis
When Raymond Holt receives a series of death threats, Deputy Chief Gerber orders him to have a bodyguard. The captain chooses Jake Peralta, who immediately sets about abusing his position. Terry Jeffords sees a therapist to see if he is ready to get back in the field.
It's Christmas time, and Jake is called into Holt's office where he meets Deputy Chief Gerber. It turns out that Holt has been getting death threats recently, and while Holt brushes them off as a hoax, it's enough that Gerber makes Jake Holt's bodyguard for the time being. This excites Jake as it feels like retribution for Holt's actions through the last few months.
Meanwhile, Amy, who originally had six gifts planned for Holt until he stated he doesn't want any gifts, gathers the remaining cops to help her out on making a gift. Neither one of them is interested though, Terry having to go to a therapy session to see if he's ready for field work again, and Boyle is planning to go to a singles retreat in order to get over Rosa. Gina decides to help her however, and the two make a Christmas card for Holt with everyone's faces on it. Unfortunately for them they can't find a photo that has Rosa smiling, so they try to work on getting her to smile.
When Holt decides to work at home, Jake gets him to come with him to his mom's house as he's still Holt's bodyguard. However, Jake tricks Holt, and takes him to a safe house while handcuffing him to his own arm. Holt secretly texts Boyle, and he arrives. Jake is upset by this, but when Boyle slips that he's here to take Holt back to his old precinct Jake realizes that the hoax threats may be real. Holt admits it's real, but he wants to do this alone. Jake and Boyle however check over the transcripts, and a few of the texts reveal that it's one of Holt's old adversaries that he arrested.
It was Colin Haimes, "The Freestyle Killer," a killer who took out an entire 4x100 meter swim team. Holt arrested him long ago, but when he taunted Haimes about his predicament, Haimes swore he will kill him when he gets out of prison Despite Holt's insistence on wanting to do this alone, Jake convinces him to tell the precinct about it in order to help him. The group manages to locate Haimes at the rail-yards, and the group search the area for Haimes. Haimes however corners Jake and Holt, but before he can kill them, Terry (who was told by Gina on what was going on) tackles Haimes to ground.
Later, it is revealed that Boyle got shot in the butt by Haimes as he tried to protecting Rosa from the shot, and is sent to the hospital. The group visits him to make sure he's okay, and Holt thanks Jake for his help, and Amy get a picture of Rosa smiling after she called Boyle a hero.
- Charles Boyle
- Jake Peralta
- Raymond Holt
- Amy Santiago
- Raymond Holt
- Amy Santiago
- Charles Boyle
- Rosa Diaz
- Raymond Holt
- Jake Peralta
- Raymond Holt
- Jake Peralta
- Raymond Holt
Season 1 Episode 11: Christmas
< Christmas
Cold Open
JAKE: All right, You take the little one on the right and I’ll take the big one on the left.
NYPD! Santa, stop hitting Santa!
What’s going on here?
LITTLE SANTA: I been on this corner for six years, and suddenly this guy shows up.
BIG SANTA: You don’t own the corner. I got a charity, too.
LITTLE SANTA: “Canine diabetes?” Who cares about fat dogs?!
BIG SANTA: They can’t give themselves shots! They got paws!
JAKE: All right, calm down calm down. Boyle, frisk the skinny one.
CHARLES: I've gone 42 years without a lump of coal I’m not gonna start now.
JAKE: Are you kidding me? All right. Fine. Come here buddy.
*Fight breaks out*
CHARLES: Hit him in his fat, cherry cheeks!
JAKE: Ugh, that felt wrong.
Knife! Skinny Santa's got a knife!
CHARLES: That’s right! Boom! I just kicked Santa in the testicles! ....Merry Christmas!
Episode
Bull Pen:
JAKE: Looking good! Happy Hanukkah!
AMY: You look happy. Let me guess: your egg sandwich fell on the floor and they gave it to you for free?
JAKE: No. Can you do that? Why doesn’t everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?
AMY: I was trying to insult you.
JAKE: And instead you gave me an amazing life hack!
Oh, Amy, you shouldn't have but this is embarrassing. I didn’t get you a present.
AMY: The gift is for Captain Holt. It’s one of six gifts I got him, representing the six lessons he’s taught me: determination, wisdom, posture--
HOLT: Excuse me, everyone. As you may know, this holiday season. Detectives sometimes feel the urge to buy their captains holiday presents. Please refrain from doing that. Under no circumstances do I want a present.
Peralta, my office.
JAKE: Roger that.
AMY: Oh god. I have to return so many items.
JAKE: I know.
Holt's Office
HOLT: Thank you for joining us, Peralta. This is Deputy Chief Gerber.
JAKE: Merry Christmas, Chief. And a very merry Christmas to you, Captain. Ho-ho-ho!
GERBER: Captain Holt has received a number of death threats.
JAKE: Oh! I really came in here with the wrong energy.
HOLT: Captains receive meaningless threats all the time. It’s not a big deal.
JAKE: Of course, no, totally. Why would a death threat be a big deal? Oh right, because it threatens death.
HOLT: It’s a hoax. I don’t want to alarm the squad, so please keep this between us.
JAKE: Awesome. I love secrets!
Santiago got you like six presents.
GERBER: Protocol dictates Captain Holt must have a security detail with him at all times. He has chosen you for that detail.
JAKE: Interesting. And not at all surprising. I’m his favorite. Now what exactly does that job entail?
GERBER: You’ll be assigned to Captain Holt. You’ll be entirely in control of his movements. He will not leave your sight. You have the authority to make decisions you feel are in the best interests of his safety. Basically, you will be completely in charge.
JAKE: Well. I would gladly put my life at risk for this man...to have to follow all my orders. Thank you. This is the greatest Christmas ever. God bless us, everyone!
Break Room
CHARLES: Hey, my flight is at eight tonight. It’s domestic. Do you think I’ll be safe if I get to the airport five hours early?
GINA: I would give yourself at least seven.
Charles nods: You’re right.
GINA: Why are you going on a singles cruise anyway? I thought you were into Rosa.
CHARLES: Well, I am. But I’ve begun to feel like there is a small chance Rosa may not love me back.
Three Weeks Ago
CHARLES: Hey, you wanna grab some dinner tonight?
ROSA: That’s nice. And I like you as a person. But I’m just not interested in you romantically.
CHARLES: Coolio. He heads off.
Two Weeks Ago
CHARLES: Whattaya say we grab a drink?
ROSA: Again- that’s sweet. But I’m not into you that way, and I have a boyfriend.
CHARLES: Gotcha! Raincheck.
Five Days Ago
CHARLES: A rose for Rosa.
ROSA: Listen to me: the healthy thing for you to do is move on.
CHARLES: So we’ve both decided that the healthy thing for me to do is move on.
GINA: I’m impressed, Boyle. That’s very mature.
CHARLES: Thanks. You know, I kind of just realized--
GINA: Oh I’m sorry, that wasn’t an invitation to keep talking.
CHARLES: Gotcha. Raincheck on that convo.
Briefing Room
AMY: Peralta’s busy, so let’s just get started. Now, the captain won’t allow us to give him all the presents we bought him--
ROSA: You’re the only one who did that.
AMY: --but, we can make him the greatest Christmas card of all time! We’re going to wear Santa hats and big sweaters and take a picture of all of us in a line-up.
TERRY: Sorry, Santiago, I don’t have time for that. My psych evaluation is today. They’re gonna decide if I’m ready to go back on the streets.
GINA: Why do you care what they think? Psychologists are just people who weren’t smart enough to be psychics.
AMY: Don’t worry, Sergeant -- we’ll add you in later.
CHARLES: Uh, I have to go, too. My flight’s in... Oh boy. Eight hours. I can make it, I’ll just buy a sandwich on the plane.
ROSA: So, if Boyle, Peralta, and the sergeant are out--
AMY: Gah, fine, everyone just go.
GINA: I could take a picture of myself dressed as an elf. Elfie-selfie!
AMY: Not that but there is something else you could do.
Holt's Office
HOLT: Are you going to sit there all day?
JAKE: Affirmative, Stone Eagle. That’s the Secret Service codename I gave you. I’m just doing my job: watching, protecting, bossing you around. Now, for your safety, please open your internet browser and search for the words “pig” plus “jet skis.” That’s an order.
Whoa whoa whoa -- where are you going, Cold Mountain? I changed your codename.
HOLT: To use the restroom.
JAKE: I’m only asking this for your safety: is it a number one or number two? Your silence indicates number two.
Coast is clear, sir. Go go go!
(into his wrist) Cold Mountain is on the move. Cold Mountain is rolling to the can.
Psychiatrist's Office
HILLARY: Okay, Sergeant Jeffords, thank you for coming in. We’re here to assess your readiness for active duty.
If all goes well, I’ll stamp the release form and you can go back in the field.
TERRY: I think I’m ready. I’m no longer fixating on my fears.
HILLARY: Good, good. But today, let’s fixate on those fears.
TERRY: Okay. That sounds... fun.
HILLARY: Let’s begin by talking about your baby girls, and your wife, and what would happen to all of them if you died in the line of duty?
TERRY: ...I popped your pillow.
Outside the Precinct
JAKE: Well well well. We meet again. Where exactly do you think you’re going?
HOLT: Your constant hovering is going to draw attention to the situation. The last thing I want is for the rest of the precinct to get involved. I’m going home to work in peace.
JAKE: Negative, Ice Veins -- I changed your code name again -- you’re not going anywhere.
HOLT: Do you know why I picked you to be my security escort?
JAKE: Because I am a 21st century Sherlock Holmes. Boyle is my Watson, and Santiago is my Moriarty. I will defeat her.
HOLT: I chose you because the threat is not real, and I thought you’d have no problem breaking the rules and letting me do my work. Now, let me go.
JAKE: Okay. But your house is off-limits --protocol. If you really want to get out of here, we can go to my mom’s place.
Or, I can lock in you the holding cell with an armed escort. Totally your call.
HOLT: Fine. We will go to your mother's place. I guess I am curious to see where this all started.
JAKE: You’ll love it.
At the Apartment
JAKE: Soooo, this is my mom’s house. Just throw your coat in the closet.
HOLT: That’s a bathroom.
JAKE: ...Water closet. My mom is British.
HOLT: Why are there no pictures of you? And no
holiday decorations? And nothing but motel art... This isn’t your mom’s apartment.
JAKE: It’s a safe house, son! You been protected!
HOLT: Get out of my way. I’m leaving.
JAKE: You refused to stay at your desk, you evaded your protection detail. Sorry: I’m ordering you to stay. God, I love giving you orders!
HOLT: If you want me to stay, you’re going to have to physically stop me. Can you do that, Peralta? Didn’t think so
JAKE: Oh no! We’re handcuffed together and we’ve lost the key!
Falconer One to HQ: Stone Eagle is in the cage. Repeat: Stone Eagle is in the cage.
HOLT: I told you the death threat was not serious. So: what. On Earth. Are you doing?
JAKE: I know you think I’m just goofing around, but I was ordered to protect you -- by your boss. From here on out, we are in lockdown.
HOLT: Fine. But before we go into lockdown --
JAKE: Too late, you’re in it.
HOLT: I’d like to text my husband and tell him I’ll be coming home late.
JAKE: Fine. But for security reasons, I get to craft the message. Let’s start with a nice greeting, like
“Hello, honey.”
HOLT: You’re not crafting the message.
JAKE: Copy that -- “honey” isn’t right.
“Hello, husband?” “Hello, sir?” You call each other ‘sir’?
HOLT: Give me my phone.
JAKE: Fine. I’ll give you some privacy.
Gina's Desk
AMY: Maybe, put Hitchcock’s head on top of the tree like an angel? Nah. Put it behind the tree.
Thanks for helping me make this card. You’re so good at this stuff.
GINA: I know. I’m good at everything. Here’s every picture we have of Rosa. Which face should we use?
AMY: Uh, she never smiles. Is her mouth broken?
GINA: How about we...flip those lips!
AMY: Oh god.
GINA: Yikes. That’s horrifying.
Cast
| Actor | Character | |
|---|---|---|
| Andy Samberg | ... | Jake Peralta |
| Stephanie Beatriz | ... | Rosa Diaz |
| Terry Crews | ... | Terry Jeffords |
| Melissa Fumero | ... | Amy Santiago |
| Joe Lo Truglio | ... | Charles Boyle |
| Chelsea Peretti | ... | Gina Linetti |
| Andre Braugher | ... | Raymond Holt |
| Dirk Blocker | ... | Michael Hitchcock |
| Joel McKinnon Miller | ... | Norm Scully |
| Jamie Denbo | ... | Hillary |
| Liz Benoit | ... | Elaine |
| Mark Berry | ... | Deputy Chief Gerber |
| Kirk Bovill | ... | Colin Haimes |
| Will McLaughlin | ... | Big Santa |
| Brendan Norman | ... | Young Haimes |
Cool Cool Cool Things
99th Precinct
Running Gags Mentioned
Videos
Images
Behind The Scenes
| Filming Location | City, State | Details | Scenes |
|---|---|---|---|
| NYPD 78th Precinct | Brooklyn, New York | Building exterior | Establishing shots meant to represent the 99th Precinct |
| South 5th Street | Next to river, beneath Williamsburg Bridge | Ensemble walking down the street in the Title Sequence | |
| CBS Studio Center | Studio City, California | Stage 12 | Scenes that take place in the 99th Precinct |